There are no other orders_ than to think of yourself.
I feel I can say that because without caution_ I invent.

The other side of this _ is I don't know why_ I have to fall-over.
This has been my plan for all of the day_that is left.

Where in the world is the end of the reunion of slim chances?
My purpose is not to gain the evidence of this existence.

We have a problem. Can't move our kid off the dime.
We ain't moving the mountain over to him.

Listening to my wife _Try to understand why... it is all_Down.
There seems to be no hope for him_ he is Lost. Playing.

Playing_is that beautiful place_where he has to go.
All he wants to do is play war/crap. Drag his heels.

I am dying in here, because I don't want/to do his work.
Crap is not moving up hill. Not even his. It makes me sick.

Hey Dude!, What the hell are you doing?
This ain't going_ to go down. It is. Not. Swell!

Let 's live like pigs, because we'll have to drink this swill.
Poisoned heart attack of the deadmen's quest. No chest.

The dire treasure of the lost soul's empire. Dire diaries
We'll die by the time we see this change. Who!

Will we stand for this? No, We'll go on by.
The time is here. But!

So, I don't know why_ I am saying this.
A hard discussion ensued. Noisome quarreling

And now the sister's report to my wife's closest sibling.
She is ranting and raving. My wife, my wife, my wife.

She is burning a hot one for our two boys, who haven't grown up.
Mad attack of a_" no friend of the court of suspense." Living?

Not worth anything to them. They have all_ that they need.
The toys of this disease. Both work, good jobs_What!

Yes! Weighs of success? I'm going to get off the phone.
My wife is a spear and a spine and her hurts_ so bad.

She is crying over this. This is very deep.
These are her side of our equation. Her boys.

I put in my effort to afford them this opportunity,
as much as she has, and we are at a standstill.

The time to strike the iron is now. A house to build.
We must toast the bun and cook the burger. Eat!

Of this we do commend a prayer each night_
For them _who do not know their worth.

Guys, We think_ You are just late, so we will waite.
For at least another night and we will see this done.

As soon as we commiserate together about what is_
Ahead_There is just one big obstacle and that is_

The head of the older one, who is the golden boy, who was_
Once upon  time so full of hope. Now! All he does is make_

Big Wup! Yup! Head'n out now and feeling_What happened here is about life from the ground up. I wanted something.

Don't know what, but I know I was dissapointed again.
The big meet-up was today, and it just didnt go that way.

Wife showed, and he wasn't there and she is just _CRY!
All of that_ Inconsolable. Strange. Wish God was here...

If you want it...Come and get it  Ouch! Big  Ouch!
I am so late, and yet I know I am giving birth.

I feel pregnant with the words of the Life.
In these lines is a real life desperately in love_

With the connective glue of memories and time.
I feel the savage response of coming unglued. I will not.

This boat will not arrive without the plan. My Lord.
Is willing our circumnavigation of the sum of "All our Fears."

See_ There is that circular thing. It is coming thru.
The trust in the love of the truth.What began has begun again.

I am in the life of the river running past the way I came.
I know the math of circumstance. Inevitably, We choose.

Love them for what they do and find a way to reach the conclusion of what-It is the Lord presents_ for their edification.

They may not have the resolution to find the dimensional door of what lies ahead.
There is always more than what appears to be the easy answer.

I am all for learning and now that I am here. Where is my joy?
I love this life, and I breathe the wonder of just being_

On the understandable divide of the heaven and the hell of
Dividing our institutions into divides of what is and what is not.

Munificent elders of the clan_ I am knowing this mechanical device of lights and spheres has gone way past go_

And I know I don't know anything, but can I just get out of here Without losing my life to the fog of thinking_ I get why I am here.

Right now! I have no idea. Results at eleven.
The campaign goes on, and I am at rest.

Breathing life in, and breathing life out. Life Is!
What's more beautiful, than what is truly practical.

The light of the wonder of hope and ideals.
Truth structures_ Love in evidence of pursuits.

 As Souls unwind. I am just this _ so Hu_man 'man'.
I didn't know I would try again tonight. To_

Objectify the Light of Existence.
I wanted to see Something _Hopeful.

Sometimes, that is....

++++++++     +++++      ++++++
The brittle sights of Life's exigencies.
Sometimes that is _ All that there Is. 

TTR 5/2008

Let's get up for the review of the books.
What was said is true...I believe I  have reached_
a review of the stage.
Where I am_ is a new sector of being_Around the bend.
A heart of gold has lost it's mend.
Stolen in the light of a pitch perfect night.

Entering in and getting_ On-board, all at once.
Bringing a semblance of order to the proceedings.
Why this night, when I came down,
Wakening light, driving forces, wish I had the sight.

Mission being_ a rough ride overland, astride.
Dark horses on the river ride, a hair's breadth edge,
or a mile from the ledge_Have no sight.
Flying blind for whiles, that pass without organized  light.

I am a man, simple planner, planning rides.
Question is _Can I blast that effective rust , off my eyes.
See the dirt is grifter's gifts of ill-fortitude and famous lies.
'Maison d'etre'_ air supplies, breaths of light. My_ one_
reason_Rise!

Recently crafting new eras of questing earth and dense articulate.
My heath in rows of factored artifacts, and histories drawn down particulate.
This is more like the imagined dream of the new
subjects' acquired dream dawn.
I am fully raising the able word of my e-mission
floated dimension.

I raise the dense curtain, clear the stage, lights up-On.
Broaden the attack and bring forth the range of e-motions.
We are pre-densified by our attraction to the past.
What acts will follow have been known for all time, and when it comes.
I will have arrived and know how to proceed.

Soon now the range of rising tones_ blend and gather , scurrying,  percussive  smashes and claps, crescendos, lean down in attack,  not a false note floats above the crowd. The gathering of players resounds in breaths of sound_ singing tones to the melody afore their hearts.
Quietly a hum gathers and wings the beauty of the day rising in sun's full glory.

New days ahead fill the heart with beauties light.
I can only see the art of life as being what we came here fore, and why we came to be.
To write of expectation and believing all is love and glory and right.
I believe this life is heaven's breath brought to breathe through our life.
Making each of us_ All that we can see_ Our way to be.

I am loving that_ this ordinary life is still full
of the magic of life.
Entering into my being is the reality of storing and being in store.
I have always been here and I have always been alive.
Remembering to arrive in each moments breath_
brings the light.
On the other side of this wall my family remains in complete disavowel of my fame. To me.

Keeping the truth on the night_ is my cortege and my stage of path.
The rise of human  writing to the day, when we read what we live.
Breaking down the act of being alive_ Into resolutions of light and love.
Being alive is the sacred act and the wife of each of our acts.
Our children survive all attack, because we believe in the right of survival.

We fight all attack_against the Grace of Hope.
And  forever, in our touch, is a belief in the real action.
The compassion of giving back_ Our lives.
All surrendering_ To survive the attack of lies.
Fully and absurdly, realising there is no going back.
I crack at the dense curtain that has thrived .
For all time and in the present, yet there is a new dawn ahead.

I am down to my last breath this night,  for there is a time to leave the floor.
This has been strange for anyone, who has read what came from my door.
I am here and I am home and I see this little fiction as a fulfillment of a pattern of change.
It is the same as I have always been, and yet I am more articulate.  What if?
What was a hair's breadth from the edge or a mile away.

Showers down all around and in under the door of my home.
The window's light shows the dawn of a time to come.
Oh!  sweet mystery of life, I am given to believe
my path evolves for thee.

To my Lord, Jesus Christ, I am given to come to the fore of my leading edge.
My meaning_ is_and of this, and more, and in the rest of my life _I am being courageous and strong ,
And reasoning, well, I will become more able.
At my age there is only what lies ahead, and I believe the time is near for no regrets...What's More!

I have no regrets_Everything I have given has brought me to this and more.
To record the actions of these moments and portray
the writing of this life.
I am authentically this change that has come over me.
I want to be free of ever having to call my name in shame.
All things are just as they are written and no room is left for false requests.
I am not inventing this. I am seeking the true heart of me.
We are making history. This night.

I say this because I enable me _ by coming to the fore. Authentically presenting the art of 'my being' _in this forum of light.
I evolve and grow to extend the range and worth.
My fortitude is my hope...No lies!
I love this life, and regard you all, as friends.
Thanks for being there for me.

This has been quite a night, filled with distractions,
And yet  displacing everything I made the effort to
rise above and smell the breadth and range of love abounding_in all of it's enterprise.
We rise or fall by our last request.
On equal terms with all possibility.
I do not pretend to know my next request,
but I will to my last breath_
Convey the best that I can See.

In the living rooms of my life_
I am growing into a real home
for the savage wanderings
of all those lies.
Running through all the bones and ill defects,
There is a final request for actions taken.
Somebody, Please ! Turn on the Lights!

TR4/2008

Begging your favor, I am determined to look beyond the curtain.
Where else can I find the intuition to see my way?
Perhaps there is a door in the floor _over there!
I wonder, might I take a look at your chest 'of drawers'.

As far as I can tell , we are alone, but I am distracted.
I must consider the children, when I speak about such things.
" I am a man of constant sorrows", laying it out_ on the floor.
That might have been Miss J. Baez. Pish-Posh! Definitely is!

Nope, It is music from 'Cadiz', most definitely is, not from dream- time.
It is the totemic word structure of one of our great early century
singer song-writers.
Smugglers of faith and family and struggle. Covering the ground ahead
Mountain men coming down to the protracted wars of debt.

At the edge of the fiery lake, there is a cool wind, but
I am looking for the dark dreamy center.
'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker'
Give the tribe it's voice_Wonderland_ would be...De-Lovely!
Another sweet trade of the tongue for the drum.
The still_ quick step beating of the inner drum.

Ka-bong, Ka-Bing, Ka-Boom, and Rat-a-tat-tat, too!
Where are you_ across the fleeting streets of time?
I am in here on the fleet side of the 'Stream'.
In the underground grotto, by the falls.

Above me, I can see sky and endless waves of sea.
I think I am looking down,... either that, or I am upside down,
And looking through the well-side under.
At the bottom of the earth_In another season.
Far from this frozen earth. Our refrigerator Spring.

Still, no matter, my birth, my death, and my supplying ,
all came down to being here__Unprepared, actually...
For in every eventuality, there is a question_
What is going on here?__For Now...I am not distracted.

I am not subtracted, protracted, or even un-divided.
In addition to this first time opportunity, I am venturing_
Forthe,... Into the music of the spheres. Adventure!
Some do_Some don't, but what the heck. Can't let you go.
I hope you can_laugh with me.

It is not a fault of my own, that I think a worthwhile tone is told,
in time to lead these faculties to their intent. A breath mint_
Ssssmarts! Sssspells! Abounding! Sweet tarts_ telling tales!
Obnoxious overtones from the over-toad,.... swelling....

Better now, I stepped away and became another 'verge' on the edge. So.....
When I am here with you, I desire___ to suspend the pretention_
Of what was here, when last we met. I have no fear, no loss_
No suspension of belief in the resolute flower of this age.

The over-age of finally becoming the result of all these years.
The micro-proportioned tiers of pretention and lameness.
The wondering of what kind of pastry farts I'll blow if I keep on trying to be a real proportion of the cake at hand.

'MacArthur Park' _ ol'friend_sing it_'Suspend & Breathe'_ 'lightly'_
Feathering the moments of suspension,...Where?
Do I move forward thru this thick air....'No Pretend'
I am fathering my first flight. I am getting out of here!

This started with a prayer un-said...I came to the fountain and froze, again, but no!/know, I am on the edge of the beautiful flight of years running in sequence and serial _Us-ual-ity. Comprehend.
Usual - Is the right way_if you've done your home-work.
Works at Home_Practice! Is!

Customary, in accordance with the rules, the road ahead lies_
Forward of 'Here and Now'...Let's not Pretend...I am speaking
Thru the wig, that lays on my head. My hair-suit and skin.
I am thinking I am younger, than I am, I am daring life. Begin!

To go where I have not been before, eyes wide-open to the epic atmospheres_I chill my throat with words of soft lending.
I am not of here, and my now, was behind me, when I began.
Purpose being_I will do everything to get 'at' my personal fear.

Behind me, Satan, Get Thee, Behind me. I will not be blinded.
You had a hell of a roll, but your edge is no mender_ no Heart!
Relax, you won't, but you won't have me, anymore.
I am moving on-up the road. I am an original true desire, Now.

Where else can I be, but here. It was made for 'me'.
Now, that I am in control....I have my edge and my view.
You came to say...It can happen...Here.
What would my wife say, if she heard me speak.

So before, I end,...before I can say, that is all. I am basically_
Sure_There is air in here and I am breathing. I ate tonight.
I rested over those snowy days, I worked in the garden, I talked on the phone, I went to work. I know I told myself_ I love my life, but I also had some negative thoughts, so why this here, these thoughts
now. Giving myself...a pass...I accept...'the edge of wonder'

Before I go, I wanted to relate a dream I had the other night.
Actually, it was a nap after work dream, and it was a flyer.
It is very complex, but in short_ I was flying a small single engine plane, from before modern day avionics and flight controls.

A between the wars 'wing' that was not modern in any way.
It was as if God had carved a plane out of a tree. Somehow the wind and my mind made it work. We took off in the storm and it rode into the sky, and in front of me was a small 'boy'_by my feet. He had his hands on the controls. It was not a wheel or a stick. This was a password kind of thing...like what is the next thing to go wrong or how do I keep making the right choices. ...'to keep this thing-up in the air'. Just trusting the way_It is. That was! IT!

The completed act of being here now, and then I realised the boy was me.
Crazy, but I thought the me, 'I was'_ thinking 'I was', was
the one flying the plane. But let's _not pretend.
I don't fly planes, and 'now in the dream'_ it was after dark and there was only wind holding us up. The forces of the darkening sky were forcing us_ about. There was a battle for control _in the sky. I could not hear a word of command, but then I wasn't scared, and then I thought,
I saw the edge of the shelf, and my thoughts fell to the floor, and I woke.

Myself awake, I saw a way to spell the binding of fear. Let it go!
I am awake, and without forgetting, I am edging over__ into
'What it is_ I came here to do'. So!

_______________________________________________

'MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, No! '
________________________________Jim Webb


3/31/08 TR

Lay down my head_ by the side of the road.
I am looking for a soft supply.
Wondering when I get to begin.
The now of this moment appears to be_
When I have arrived, and Then!

It began on the head of a pen.
The thrall and winding of the thread,
.... and the den of certitude.
I am dependable, yet I storm the traces of another time.
Encourage me to be the taking class of enemy.

I am the enmity of strong anti-casual suspension.
I know that there is a real victim here.
It is in_ All of our crimes.
Beginning with the lie.
The one, where you grieve_ for the lost halo.

I am a darkness on the other side.
I have a certain prescription to arrive.
It calls me here...I have arrived.
Trust the scraps that lay ahead.
The worth and value of cerebrating dread.

I am working through the long locus of said, 'Suspension'.
By the commission of my hopeful origins,
I am commissioning upon the order of my night_ the wiser kind.
To look within the dread of not having been,
I can keep in thrice triplicate display the warrants_
Of my Dismay.

At work in my life is the final order of my time.
To be...I have come to finally be in my heart_ the one true me;
By actions equated _ drawn in lines from within my head.
I rise and fall not far from this earth,
Just running up this hill, and over there_ toward the light.

In this gallery of play_my small sacrifice is a gift.
The gift of life_ for paying back the wheel of Life.
Coming down in stride...I take my place on this earth.
I am a walking man, realizing the value of Time.

Coming alive I realize all that has been given Here.
The dream is alive. We are wonders in the Light.
There is more here, than what we can possibly ignore.
We love this life...I can realize the light within.
Bright strobe of forever ending glory_
Striding toward a world in peril.

I hope my interlude does not scare the pages off your screen,
but I am feeling the best kind of courage. It is calm.
I am sustained by this, and not far away_
... from where I sit, when I am at rest.
Has this been a spill or a spell?
I am not alone, but beyond request.

I commend my proposal of this simple life_ to the action,
... and the prayers of the one God-Almighty.
Ruler of the Universe of Love
Our Lord_ Jesus Christ.

I would be nothing without this thought_
... of finally finding the way to honor my commission.
I am a mostly unperfected desire of the father.
A simple human man, who wants to challenge the expectation_
Of what is possible when _ you imagine all the love that is God channeled to the answering song of life_
Lived without Fear.

Loving the possibility of finding the one true Identity_
That is the life of Here.

So being brightly painted for my certainty.
I will now repair to my resting place,
... and resume the ordinary life.

My accepted self...so Real_ it squeaks!
This one extraordinary reason for being happy.
I accept how I have come to Be.
In all of the byways, there was always a single thread.
My equation is only a part of me.

By definition the purpose of the practice was the rudimentary
exile till the Presence of the Life was within.
I am alive in threes.
May the Peace of God Prevail Over All Misunderstanding.

Lights out. Rest is the Keeping of Life.
The Cycle of Days, and When?
Patience brings Grace. Grateful...This Life.
This Way..............TR
Nowhere to hide from me.

Magical birth of my holy night.
I seek the light from under the stairs.
Just where_the under worn hats are borne.
Live at the mystery theater. Shorts.

Bending over at the end of the table_ stillness arrives.
I live here in the mind of the boy___ in question.
I love this young man.
He has potential, as a  plenipotentiary.

An actual partition of moments is occurring.
There is no question, I am having a moment of real vision.
I like the unlikely continuance of what I only half expected.
No broken pieces...only outstanding breaths to match...
My exclusive rights to these special envelopes of now.

What can I say? What am I working for?
Obvious answers would be__the self absorbtion of lens.
Eyesight is the serial line of time given to mission space.
Orders of business resume upon the latest request.

Unusual eyes seeking light action_ Corresponding to movement.
Synchronizing my catch to the vessels sway of two and four.
Beats per minute. A second passed in earnest enterprise.
I am ignoring this night, because of things that disrupt. Point!

I have no reason to think_ I am in the well with the fish.
My line is slightly askew. I want to reach the other side.
Beneath the waves there is more.
I am familiar with my place in this sea of sights.

Like a whale I cruise deep and slow.
Rotating around a point of amber darkening.
I know my weight is weighing in.
Values of the great matters burst forth.

Ruling the chances to find the pathway of description.
The sunlight lies under the skin.
My enterprise __ my night of a thousand winds.
Once more a door opens, and cruises out into perpetuity.

Light ladders weigh at the center of definitions edge.
Singular thoughts come in fractions of suspension.
I am a little like my life. Depends!
I want that to mean more, even if noone can see the sighs.

One Day!
Light and dark. Right or wrong.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Right thought, right action.
Changes everything.
On the the spot. Perfect rhyming time.

If there isn't a poet in the house.
Only a pure center being, Who is__
Not quite as pure, as he would have you believe.
I come to the supulchur to be purified. Light!

Weightless...
God's indulgence is the rendering of passage,
and unperfected right taken tries.
I have been here _the whole time trying to blend and re-call.
Everything that lies ahead_ Is beyond my command.

I lay at the door reeling in the center of that spot under the stairs.
Imaginations end_ has only beginnings of  'therefore'.
With love I begin over, and try to remember_
why I think my chances are taken_
To be the right way.

I allow myself to think, therefore...I follow my lead.
I think I will commend my effort to a real anxious desire.
To find the 'Wherefore art thou?' A personality, a trend.
A message free reason to exist in this cyber factory of words.

Nothing can dissuade my personal blend of self satisfaction.
The audacity of breathing chances in the night.
I am a song sung enterprise. I am not the music or words.
I am a language I learn each day, because I am my voice.

It says, " These are  words. These are the meanings of saying things."
Differently, as in the order of new chains.
Laying about in the raining mist of a new night.
I ruggedly, softly command the titling floor of my escape.

I lift the page_ to lower the door.
Endings are many, and they will not come undone.
I did not try the other way. Guaranteed satisfaction.
I don't know what I am doing this for. Beyond!

Question? If you are still in my room under the stairs.
You know more than I will acknowledge.
I admire your curiousity. You have been here before.
That is what I love about the night.

When a personal night ends and preparations are made.
Sleep..., rest is or is not a choice, but eventually it descends.
We begin again, and find our rebirth in the deepest earth of night.
The lighting of the streets we pass_moving forth_
are the difference in tomorrow's ends.

Stillness is what I will be looking for.
This ends tonight_on my time.
My run of time is blending forward into_
Pleasing thoughts of dependibility.

Listen, I've talked enough.
I'm done being this unusual creature of division.
As soon as I say that...
I know my chance is only this.

I will do this again and wonder why...
And I will try to render a better rendition of faith.
My practice is not a crime.
I am working on the perfection of the sublime.

My time, my ends.
I delight in being me. Again.
Childhood's great enterprise.
The crossing of the deep dark sea.
Above the starry night.
The horizon ahead.

One hour in and I am done for.
Ta ra ...nighty night... TR
Emotion:Love
Loving the giving
of Self.

2008@beeswax.call